i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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