I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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