Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
