So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
