these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
