So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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