is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
