So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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