Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
