then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
