in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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