I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
