Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
