he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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