My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
