You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize