im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
