who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Even my vagina gasped.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
