If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
false alarm. still invincible.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
