I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I deserve to be covered in dicks
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
