dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
