..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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