there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
