If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
