I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
