went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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