When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
