...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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