I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
