I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
