No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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