is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
