Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
