are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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