I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
