Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
