he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
