She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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