In the future we'll all be gay
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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