Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Randomize
