Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
