Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
