Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
