thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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