Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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