Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
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