Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
