Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
