You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
