even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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