She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
