I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
