her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize