Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
