I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
