he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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