grandma shit on top of the toilet
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
