the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
