it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
