Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
