Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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