oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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