dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
