I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Welp...herpes.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
