Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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