I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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