Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
