I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
