Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
