whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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