Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize