i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
