used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
