Ambien. No doubt about it.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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