Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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