I think im going to throw up on grandma
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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