My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize