yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
